yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Randomize
