I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
