worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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