Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
a search helicopter?!
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
