im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
