Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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