He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize