I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We are two peas in an std pod
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
