I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
