Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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