Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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