is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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