Its about making memories worth repressing
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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