The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
