OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
