We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
