ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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