it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
