i need an iv and a liver transplant
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
