Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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