im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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