He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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