just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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