In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
