if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
