i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
