she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
