Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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