On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
