i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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