would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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