I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
