Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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