After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
When did angry sex become our thing?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
