Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
