Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
