Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He did a backflip because drugs
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
