I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
