Fuck appropriateness.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
