just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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