what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm just crazy horny about you
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
