so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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