Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
