3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We're too hungover to prance.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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