I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
