youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
