I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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