I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
