"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
