we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
