our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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