Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
