ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
