we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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