I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
