One girl and one boy is just not enough.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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