All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
